Yes, You Can Get an STD Without Sex, Here's What to Know
Quick Answer
Yes, women who sleep with women can absolutely transmit and contract STDs. Herpes, HPV, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV can all spread between female partners, often without symptoms, and frequently without anyone realizing they’re at risk.
The Sex Ed Gap That Left You Vulnerable
If you grew up queer or questioning, chances are your sex ed experience was a joke, or a trauma. Most curriculums skipped over female-female intimacy entirely. No diagrams. No demos. No conversations about risk. Maybe a half-hearted line about “using protection… with men.”
What gets left out? The reality that oral sex, skin contact, and shared fluids between women can absolutely transmit infections, and that those infections don’t care about your gender, orientation, or label. So when queer women have sex without fear, it’s not because they’re reckless. It’s because no one ever gave them the full story.
The consequence? A false sense of security that leaves people vulnerable, and unprepared to protect themselves or their partners.
People are also looking for... How often should LGBTQ youth get tested for STDs?
STDs Don’t Require a Penis, Just Skin, Fluids, or Mucous Membranes
Let’s break this myth wide open. Most STDs aren’t picky about how they spread. They don’t wait for penetration. They don’t require ejaculation. Many don’t even care about orgasm. All they need is a path.
- Herpes and HPV spread through skin-to-skin contact, even when there are no symptoms.
- Chlamydia and gonorrhea can infect the throat and vagina through oral sex or toy sharing.
- Trichomoniasis is surprisingly common between women, even though many providers don’t test for it routinely.
- Syphilis can be passed through contact with sores that are often too small to see.
- HIV, though rare in female-to-female transmission, has still been documented, especially with shared sex toys, blood exposure, or co-existing infections.
So if you’ve kissed, gone down on someone, rubbed, touched, or swapped fluids, you’ve been exposed. And if no one ever told you that? You’re not stupid. You’ve just been lied to by omission.
How Herpes, HPV, and Trich Move Silently Between Women
Let’s talk about the heavy hitters.
Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2)
Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2) is one of the most common STDs in the world, and it doesn’t care about gender. It spreads through kissing, oral sex, and genital contact. Many women contract it during their first female partnership, and have no idea where it came from. That’s because herpes often shows up with no symptoms or with vague ones that mimic irritation or ingrown hairs.
HPV
HPV, the human papillomavirus, is even sneakier. It can cause genital warts, abnormal pap smears, and cervical cancer. And it spreads through skin contact, not just penetration. You can’t see it, you can’t feel it, and condoms don’t always prevent it. Many women carry HPV for years without knowing.
Trichomoniasis
Trichomoniasis, or “trich,” is a parasitic infection often left out of the queer health conversation. It causes itching, discharge, and irritation, but 70% of people have no symptoms. And yes, it can pass between women. One study found a 13% trich rate among lesbians who had never had sex with men.
The worst part? Many providers don’t even test for these unless you explicitly ask, because they assume, wrongly, that you’re not at risk.
Order Now $33.99 $49.00 Check Your STD Status in Minutes
Test at Home with Remedium
Trichomoniasis Test Kit
Claim Your Kit TodaySave 31%
For Women
Results in Minutes
No Lab Needed
Private & Discreet
The Danger of “We’re Both Clean” Culture in Queer Relationships
Let’s talk about the word “clean.”
How many times have you heard it? “I’m clean.” “We’re both clean.” “I haven’t been with anyone dirty.”
Here’s the problem: “clean” isn’t a diagnosis. It’s a vibe. And a harmful one.
Most STDs don’t show symptoms, especially in people with vaginas. You can have herpes, chlamydia, or HPV and feel totally normal. You can get tested and still miss something if your provider doesn’t check the right site, or skips tests they don’t think you “need.”
So when queer couples rely on the “we’re both clean” assumption, especially early in a relationship or when ditching barriers, they’re gambling on guesswork.
You don’t need to be paranoid to test. You need to be respectful. Of your partner, your body, and the facts.
“Just Oral” Still Carries Risk, Here’s How
It’s easy to assume oral sex is low-risk. It doesn’t involve penetration. There’s no semen. It’s often framed as “foreplay” or “practice.” But if you’re going down on someone, or getting gone down on, you’re still swapping fluids and exposing mucous membranes. And that’s exactly what most STDs need to spread.
Herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and chlamydia can all be transmitted orally. If your partner has any of these in their throat (and many people do, without knowing it), oral-genital contact can pass it to your genitals, or the reverse. Gonorrhea in the throat often goes undetected because people don’t test that area unless symptoms appear, and even then, they can be misread as strep or allergies.
Let’s be clear: this doesn’t mean you need to panic every time someone goes down on you. It means oral sex deserves the same respect and caution as other kinds of sex, especially if either partner has ever had an STD or hasn't been tested recently.
The Truth About Sex Toys, Fingers, and Viral Hitchhikers
Sex between women often involves toys, vibrators, dildos, plugs, hands, and sometimes shared strap-ons. And this is where herpes, HPV, trich, and even bacterial vaginosis can take a ride from one body to another.
If you don’t use a barrier, like a condom on a toy or a latex glove on your hand, and you’re sharing between partners or between body parts (vagina to anus or mouth to vagina), you’re creating a bridge for microbes. And those microbes don’t need to be visible or symptomatic to travel.
Not every sex act needs to look like a science experiment. But if you're switching toys between people, change the condom, wash thoroughly, or use separate gear. The idea that “two women can’t really give each other anything” is one of the most persistent lies in sexual health, and it thrives in silence.
People are also looking for... Do I need to wear condoms on toys with my monogamous partner?
Why Your Doctor Probably Doesn’t Know Either
If you’ve ever told a doctor you only sleep with women and watched them suddenly look… confused, you’re not alone.
Many providers still don’t know how to ask, test, or treat queer women properly. They assume WLW (women-loving-women) are low-risk. They may skip STI testing altogether, or only run tests that apply to hetero cis women. Worse, they might not even ask about your sexual practices, just your gender and your orientation, as if that tells the whole story.
This medical blind spot leaves thousands of queer women under-tested, misdiagnosed, and dismissed. It’s especially dangerous for STDs like trichomoniasis, herpes, and HPV, which often go unchecked unless specifically requested.
If your provider doesn’t ask the right questions, you have every right to advocate for the full panel, oral, vaginal, anal (if applicable), and blood-based tests for HIV and syphilis. It’s your body. You get to ask for more.
Real Stories from Women Who Got Blindsided
Nina, 27, hadn’t slept with a man in five years. Her girlfriend had never tested.
“We both assumed we were safe because we were lesbians,” she said. But after a pap smear revealed abnormal cells from HPV, she realized that assumption had left her vulnerable. “Neither of us had symptoms, but the virus had been quietly doing its thing.”
Marisol, 34, got oral herpes after sharing a toothbrush with her partner during a weekend trip.
“She had a cold sore she thought was just chapped lips. I didn’t think twice,” she said. A few days later, Marisol’s lip was tingling too.
Jade, 23, was diagnosed with trich after months of irritation she thought was BV
“My doctor told me it was impossible unless I’d slept with a man,” she said. “He literally said, ‘You’re not the demographic.’” Jade had been sleeping with women exclusively for two years.
These aren’t rare cases. They’re just rarely told. But if you’ve ever thought, “That wouldn’t happen to me, I only sleep with women,” let these stories be your wake-up call.
Order Now $189.00 $490.00 Check Your STD Status in Minutes
Test at Home with Remedium
10-in-1 STD Test Kit
Claim Your Kit TodaySave 61%For WomenResults in MinutesNo Lab NeededPrivate & DiscreetFor all 10 tests
Your Orientation Doesn’t Determine Your Risk, Your Practices Do
Here’s the big truth: your STD risk isn’t about who you are. It’s about what you do, and how informed you are when you do it.
Two women can love each other fiercely and still pass HPV. They can share a life and still pass herpes. They can have what feels like the safest sex in the world, intimate, loving, non-penetrative, and still walk away with an infection no one expected.
That doesn’t mean queer sex is “dirty” or “dangerous.” It means the system failed to educate and protect queer women the same way it (sometimes) does for straight ones.
Want to take back control? It starts with knowledge. Then a test.
Myth-Busting: Queer Edition
Time to burn the myths down.
Myth #1: Women can’t give each other STDs.
Flat-out false. Any contact involving mucous membranes, skin, or bodily fluids can spread infection. And queer women do all of the above.
Myth #2: You only need to get tested if you’ve had sex with a man.
Dangerous and dismissive. Most common STDs among women who sleep with women, including herpes, HPV, trich, and BV, don’t require male partners to spread.
Myth #3: No symptoms = no infection.
The majority of STDs are asymptomatic, especially in people with vaginas. You can feel totally fine and still carry or pass something on.
Myth #4: Oral sex is safe.
It’s lower-risk, but not no-risk. Herpes, gonorrhea, HPV, and syphilis can all be transmitted through oral.
Myth #5: If my partner and I are both “clean,” we’re good.
Unless you’ve both been fully tested and had no new exposures since, that word means nothing. Test before trust, not because you don’t believe them, but because you respect your shared health.
People are also looking for... Do I need to tell my partner if I test positive?
FAQ
1. Can two women really give each other chlamydia?
Yes. It can be transmitted through oral sex, fingers, or shared toys, even if neither of you has ever been with a man.
2. Do I need to use protection during oral sex?
Dental dams and condoms on toys reduce risk. They’re underused, but effective.
3. Can HPV cause problems even if I’m vaccinated?
Yes. The vaccine protects against high-risk strains, but not all of them. Routine pap smears and HPV testing still matter.
4. Is HIV a real risk in lesbian sex?
It’s lower than in other forms of sex, but still possible, especially if there’s blood involved or shared toys during menstruation.
5. What STDs can spread skin-to-skin?
Herpes, HPV, syphilis, and molluscum contagiosum can all be passed through skin contact, even without fluids or penetration.
6. How often should I test if I only sleep with women?
At least once a year, or between partners. More if symptoms appear, or if you’re using shared toys or engaging in oral regularly.
7. What should I ask for at the clinic?
A full panel: vaginal swab, throat swab, and bloodwork. Don’t assume they’ll test all sites, ask directly.
8. Why didn’t my last doctor test me for anything?
Many providers assume WLW are low-risk. Advocate for yourself. It’s your health.
9. What if I haven’t had a partner in a while?
STDs can lie dormant. If you’ve ever had unprotected contact, no matter how long ago, it’s still worth testing.
10. Is there an at-home test that works for me?
Yes. You can test privately and thoroughly right here: STD Rapid Test Kits
Order Now $69.00 $147.00 Check Your STD Status in Minutes
Test at Home with Remedium
3-in-1 STD Test Kit
Claim Your Kit TodaySave 53%
For Men & WomenResults in MinutesNo Lab NeededPrivate & DiscreetFor all 3 tests
Wrap-Up: Queer Doesn’t Mean Immune, It Means You Deserve Better Information
Let’s make one thing clear: being queer does not make you immune. It doesn’t make you dirty either. It makes you human. And your body deserves healthcare, honesty, and sexual autonomy, not erasure.
STDs don’t ask about your gender, your pronouns, or your orientation. They follow skin, fluids, and silence. And too often, queer women have been told to sit quietly in that silence, assumed “safe” because no one cared enough to investigate otherwise.
That ends here. Get tested. Have the conversation. Use the barrier. Teach your friends. Ask your doctor for more. And if you’re not sure where to start?
Queer women get STDs too, but no one talks about it. So let’s start with the facts, and a test. You deserve the full picture. Now you have it.
Sources
1. CDC – Women Who Have Sex with Women and STI Risks
2. Mayo Clinic – Health Issues for Lesbians
